Lately, in this season of waiting I have been drawn to the Psalms over and over. We are in a season of waiting. We wait for a referral for our little boy, wait for new pictures/video of Little Sister, wait for any new information, wait for their adoptions to be official, wait for a travel date, wait to bring them home, wait to begin life together as a family of 5.
In the midst of all of this waiting, some days I feel like we are becoming stagnant. I fear that we may never move forward, onto the next step that brings us closer to bringing these children home. I fear the journey may go on forever with no rejoicing at the end. It just doesn't feel REAL some days. Are we REALLY ever going to bring these 2 orphans home? Are we REALLY ever going to be able to hold them and show them how much we love them already, even though we have never met? Are we REALLY going to travel to the poorest country in Africa for up to 2 weeks? Are we REALLY going to see the orphanage they have lived in for the first 6,8, 12 months of their lives? Are we ever REALLY going to be a family? Will they ever REALLY look at me and call me mommy? Will they ever REALLY be here playing with their big brother Jonah?
It would be easy to be overwhelmed and consumed with all these questions and uncertainties if I let myself. So what do I do to "renew my mind" daily?
I have been reading, meditating on, and praying through Psalm 145 and 146 for weeks now. I won't write out the whole thing, but some of my favorite verses currently are:
"The Lord is righteous in all his ways and kind in all his works.
The Lord is near to all who call on him,
to all who call on him in truth.
He fulfills the desires of those who fear him;
He also hears their cry and saves them.
The Lord preserves all who love him,
but all the wicked he will destroy."
"Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob...
who made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them,
who executes justice for the oppressed,
who gives food to the hungry.
The Lord lifts up those who are bowed down;
the Lord loves the righteous.
The Lord watches over the sojourners;
He upholds the widow and the fatherless,
but the way of the wicked he brings to ruin."
I hope these Psalms will be an encouragement to you too, whether you're adopting or going through some other trial. He works all things together for good (Romans 8:28), and that ultimate GOOD is to make us more like Christ through sanctification.
Praying and waiting expectantly, for my help is the God of Jacob,