1-11-11.. the Rollercoaster ride begins...

the Emotional Rollercoaster, that is.

Yesterday was a day of emotional highs and lows, and we JUST started this whole adoption process!! I have been so proud of myself lately, thinking that I have been much better at keeping my emotions in check & not being ruled by them. Time for the Lord to insert a humbling experience I guess...

I talked with someone from the agency we are planning on using yesterday to ask her a few questions. She was very nice, very helpful, and honest with me, all of which I appreciate. She informed me that the agency isn't putting any more families on their waiting list for a girl under 3 right now.
Wait, what? Can you say that again? I must have misunderstood.
We're not accepting applications for girls under 3. But will re-evaluate in 4-6 months.
My heart dropped.
I wanted to say, "You don't understand, we are adopting a boy AND a girl under 2 from Ethiopia. That is our plan, it has been for over a year!"
But I said, "Ok, thank you for your help," and called my husband to tell him the news. As I was relaying the news I lost it. I sobbed my eyes out for the beautiful little girl whose hair I've dreamed of braiding. Who I'll sit and talk with, or play dolls with, or just cuddle with for hours. I LOVE, I mean absolutely love having a son (Jonah is such a JOY and a precious gift from the Lord), but I want to experience raising a daughter as well.

My perfect little adoption plan bubble has been popped. And only 2 weeks into the process. But you know, that is probably a good thing. I need little reminders sometimes to remember to rely solely on the Lord, and to not lean on my own understanding or ability. I am an organzier, a planner, but the Lord's plans are ALWAYS exceedingly & abundantly better than anything I can ever ask or imagine! So here we are.
We are adopting, but apparently God's plans for our family may be a little different than we originally thought. While I think I'm still partially in denial that we will may not be able to adopt a girl this time, I know that the Lord may have a daughter out there for us in India, or Guatemala, or Haiti, or some other country that isn't open to adopt from right now. So I am focusing my energy today on believing in God's timing and His word:
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord.
Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you,
Plans to give you a future and a hope."
-Jeremiah 29:11

I would love it if you would pray with us and for us as we walk this adoption journey and trust solely in the Lord's plans for our family. Please pray that God would protect our children and keep them safe and healthy until we are able to bring them home! Please pray for us to discern the Lord's plans for the details of our adoption, whether we should adopt 1 or 2 boys, or if God is already working on re-opening applications for girls around the time we finish our homestudy. And pray for us to trust in God's provision for the adoption expenses, which are already slowly adding up. We are so thankful that God has adopted my husband and I as sons and daughter of the King of Kings, and cannot wait to adopt our children & bring them home to be not longer orphans, but beloved & cherished sons and (hopefully one day) daughters!