august 24th

On August 24th, 2012 I was scheduled to speak, alongside one of my best friends, at our church's women's fellowship night. We were asked to share about how we met, how she shared the gospel with me, and how God used our friendship for his glory and how I came to be a born-again believer in Jesus Christ alone for my salvation.
As I was in my van, about 5 minutes away from church, I got a call from Jon. He told me he had some bad news he had to tell me & asked if I was ready to hear it.
"What is it?! Is Josephine dead???"
"No."
"Then what is it?!?! Wait, don't tell me. I'm almost at church. I will call you back."

So 15 minutes before I was about to share my testimony with a room full of 100 ladies, I called him back and heard the news,
"Josephine is missing now too. She is gone. She's not at the orphanage. Either she's missing or we adopted a little girl who never existed."

It was a Friday night. Jon was packed & ready to fly to DRC to get our daughter on Sunday. How could this really be happening?? I sobbed with my friend, Danielle for a few minutes, not understanding how God could really let this be happening to our sweet little girl. Danielle prayed for me. Then I took a deep breath, regained my composure and took the stage with her.
I remember someone said they would totally understand if I didn't want to speak that night, but I knew that was exactly what Satan wanted and there was no way I was going to let him win this battle.
By God's grace, and with the help of the indwelling Spirit, Danielle and I were able to tell our stories, how God used a room in a sorority house to show me the good news of the gospel & that I could never be good enough on my own to please Him or "earn" my way to Heaven. He called me out of darkness and into His marvelous light. And now, by grace I am saved through faith in Jesus Christ! I am so thankful that the Lord gave me that Philippians 4 peace that surpasses understanding so that I could share my story for the glory of God & so the gospel may go forth and save others who are lost in their sin just like I was.

 Soli deo gloria. {To God alone be the glory.}

breaking the silence

Wow. I can't believe it is already November. I cannot believe that we started the adoption process a few months before our firstborn turned 1 and he is now over 2 and a half. I cannot believe that in a little over a month we will hit the milestone of being "in the adoption process" for two years. And most days I cannot believe that we have 2 legally adopted children in the DRC who have both been missing for months.

But all of these things are true, no matter how hard they are for me to believe. Yet I also know that God's word is true. And although I have no idea what He is doing right now, I trust that His ways are higher than our ways & I just simply couldn't comprehend it even if He did try to explain it all to me. So I trust Him. And I trust that His word is true when it says,
"I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to seperate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."  Romans 8:37-39
and
 "Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him." James 1:12
and
"For this light, momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison." 2 Corinthians 4:17
and
"The Lord watches over the sojourners; he upholds the widow and the fatherless, but the way of the wicked he brings to ruin." Psalm 146:9

Trusting the Lord & fighting for joy in the midst of this trial,